Don't say goodbye
by Believe78
Summary: Written for Sweetjamielee's Plan B summer ficathon prompt: Alicia/Peter - Election is over, goodbye campaign bus Dedicated to all my AP girls. You know who you are :) Thanks to Mary for always being there for me and encouraging me to go on with writing :) Icon by Ladybug-Jojo Thank you :)


Peter stands in front of the campaign trailer checking his watch. He wanted to be at home by now. Home. Is he already allowed to call the apartment Alicia has shared with their kids for the last years his home again? They didn't discussed this during their stay in Hawaii. They talked about many things. It seemed easier to address certain issues away from home and he felt like they finally really talked. Some of it was painful for both of them but it was also a relief. It was what they needed and he doesn't know why they hadn't tried to get away sooner. Maybe they hadn't been ready for it and now it was just the right time. He had his doubts about Alicia's thoughts on their vow renewal and they were fueled by her disappearing on election night. He feared the worst and it reminded him of the worst defeat he had suffered in his life when she had thrown him out of the apartment the night he had been elected to State's Attorney the second time. He had thought he had lost her for good back then and the memory of that still hurts. He's glad they have put all this behind them but he knows he has to keep that hurt as a constant reminder not to gamble again with his most precious possession - the love of his wife and family.

He checks his watch once more and curses under his breath as he looks around and wonders what takes Eli this long. He wanted to meet him here to empty some drawers in the campaign bus only Peter has the keys to. The bus would go back tomorrow and everything else has already been cleaned out. Peter suggested to bring Eli the keys and have someone of the staff do it but he insisted they'd do it together. He chuckles at the thought that Eli might think something embarrassing could surface in these drawers. He hopes he won't be disappointed when all that shows up are some notes on speeches and other meaningless stuff.

He turns, taking a look at the trailer, realizing all of a sudden this will be the last time he'll be in there. This bus was his second home during the last months, spending countless hours coming and going from various campaign events, preparing speeches and endless discussions with Eli. He knows he'll miss it, all of it but mostly those few cherished hours he shared with Alicia. In a way all that had meaning to their relationship during the last months happened here. It was their place and from tomorrow on it will be gone. Sadness takes over and he regrets not having thought about saying goodbye to it in a proper way. With Alicia.

"Are you going to stand out there all night?" he turns, startled by Alicia's voice behind him.

"What are you doing here?" he walks toward the door she stands in, smiling.

"Helping you open some drawers." she grins at him as he watches her in disbelief.

"But Eli..." he stops himself as he realizes that Eli was just a decoy to get him here.

"Eli told me that the bus would be gone by tomorrow and somehow I thought we needed to say goodbye. Don't you think?"

He has finally entered the bus and she leans in to kiss him softly on the lips. He nods as he looks around the trailer that lies in darkness aside from a few candles on the table. Alicia grabs his hand and leads him toward the couch reaching for the bottle of red wine. She pours the wine in two glasses and gestures Peter to sit down but he won't let go of her hand and stays next to her until she has filled both glasses and hands him one.

"To us!" she toasts and they both take a sip from their wine.

"And to this place. I'll surely miss it." Alicia takes his glass from him to put it back on the table alongside hers.

"Me, too." he smiles at her and reaches for her hands. "Thanks for doing this and.." he takes a deep breath and peers down.

"And..?" he looks up and meets Alicia's curious gaze.

"I know I've said it a million times, babe, but I will never get tired of thanking you for trusting me again and giving us a second chance."

"It's ok, Peter. I wouldn't have renewed our vows if I didn't mean it. I don't want us wasting our second chance with being sorry for what screwed up our first." she smiles at him just like she smiled while they exchanged their vows once more a few days back on that Hawaiian beach and he remembers this feeling of total happiness that he thought he'd lost the right to experience.

He has no idea what to answer so he just pulls her closer, kissing her cheek tenderly feeling her hands leave his to slide around his waist, caressing his back.

Their lips meet, gently at first but soon he feels Alicia tease his lower lip. She pushes him backwards to the couch and as his legs make contact he breaks the kiss to sit down and pull her with him so she lands on his lap.

"So, you want to give this place a proper goodbye?" he smirks at her, his hands already on the quest for the zipper of her dress.

"That's what I wanted you here for." she leans in for another passionate kiss.

* * *

A few hours later they step into the apartment.

"Kids are probably already in bed." Alicia states after a glance at her watch.

She hangs her coat and proceeds to the kitchen. When she doesn't hear Peter following her she turns and sees him standing in the hall still wearing his coat looking lost. She anticipated this. She knows it is also her fault he never felt like this was his home too. She walks over to him and takes his coat from him.

"I know you can't feel at home here, Peter." she grabs his hand and leads him into the living room. They sit down on the couch.

She takes his silence as agreement and smiles at him.

"And I don't want you to." she hears him gasp and a shocked expression falls on his features.

"Not if you have to force it." she keeps on smiling at him and strokes his hand that still rests in hers. She slowly feels him relaxing again but she knows he's still not sure where she is going with this.

"I wanted to talk to you about this already in Hawaii but somehow I always forgot and we had other things to discuss."

"What do you mean?" he speaks for the first time since they got here.

"I want you to sell the house and move in here until we've found something else, something new without any bad memories for both of us. A place where we can make some new memories, good ones preferably." she watches him think and slowly she sees the concern leave his eyes and a small smile play on his lips.

"I'd like that. If that's what you want. You love this place."

"Yes, that's exactly what I want, Peter. And I think it's what we need, too. Letting go of the past with all that it entitles." she pauses and sees him nod at her words.

"I realized something earlier in the bus. I wondered all of a sudden why I cared so much about it not being in our lives any longer. But then I understood that it wasn't about the bus but about you. I wasn't saying goodbye to the trailer but to the time I spent in it with you. It has been our place in the last months, sometimes a hideout from the real world. I liked that and I don't want to loose this. I want our new home to be that place." the smile on his face widens as he pulls her closer to place a kiss on her forehead.

"Let's do this, babe. I'll call anything home I can share with you."


End file.
